Martini Momma

Happy Birthday Mol

What would I do without my sister? Who would I run to every day with my latest question about Ivy? Who would I spend my time with?

We are rapidly approaching the five year mark of losing mom, a journey that has been difficult to say the least. Needless to say, these past years would not have been possible without eachothers shoulders to cry on.  Thankfully, you have taken on the role of mom in my life.  You cheer me on with enthusiasm, celebrate every important moment in my life, and let me be me without passing judgement.  We tell eachother everything (yes, even things our husbands think we shouldn't), we laugh and gossip together, we talk reality TV and real estate, we share hopes and dreams. How lucky are we!

The greatest gift you have given me Mol is your 3 babies who I adore like my own.  They each carry qualities of you that are unmistakable.  Ty, with your sensitivity and worry.  Mags, with your fire and stubbornness, and Sadie with your happiness and love for life.  My little Ivy is beyond blessed to have an Auntie who adores her the way you do. Unfortunately, most of our time together is dominated by the demands of our children, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I wish you a fabulous birthday my sister with a year full of love, laughter, and happiness. I am so lucky to have you as part of my life and look forward to the many years ahead xoxo

The Love Fest

Last night we celebrated Ivy's new place in this family at her shower.  It was spectacular, so many friends and family around to snuggle our new baby.  It was held in my childhood home which has now seen 2 women tastefully and lovingly adorn it.  For some guests, it struck a chord to be back in the place they haven't vsitied since losing mom but all agreed that Judy has created a warm and beautiful home for my dad and her.  Thank you, Judy, for opening the doors to this house and allowing us to celebrate in such a special place with so many memories.  Mom would have been so touched to know it was held here.

It was the first day that she hadn't napped in the afternoon, I'm sure a sign that she will likely be like her mom and auntie, too excited to sleep when there is a gala event in her honor.  Of course, my plan was to take numerous pictures and finally post a beautiful picture of my sister and didn't the photographer (me) forget her memory card.  A fancy new camera bag is totally useless without a memory card.  I toasted my sister with a few words and a few ladies told me that the words from Kate and I should make their way to the blog.  Here's a taste of the love fest last night.

"Four summers ago, I learnt that my baby sister would be returning home from Calgary.  I was ecstatic to hear that my constant nagging had finally paid off.  Not only was I thrilled to finally have her just 7 minutes away but I was over the moon to know that my kids would get to experience everyday life with their other mother, "Auntie Katie".  Katie has been a fixture in my house nearly everyday since returning home and she has seen the arrivals of her 2 nieces, Maggie and Sadie.  She has always had 3 apples in her eyes, and now 4.  She has changed diapers, wiped tears, soothed aches and refereed round after round of sibling squabbles, right alongside their own mother.  I knew without a doubt that the time would come when she would welcome a baby of her own into the mix and there was not a doubt that she would transition into motherhood absolutely seamlessly.  I waited anxiously after their wedding, subtly reminding them that Jared wasn't getting any younger and neither were my children and that a few more cousins would be very, very nice.  Then lo and behold, at the C'mon Inn in Grand Forks, that fateful pregnancy test (that I purchased) confirmed what I already knew.  A baby.  I saw that twinkle in her eye as the realization swept over her.  Her baby.

I watched her respond naturally to her pregnancy, calm, at ease with her growing little bump.  I could feel her maternal love kick in long before Ivy was ever born.  As the week's leading up to birth crept by at a snail's pace, I was sure that this little baby had to be a daughter.  I was right, as the big sister so often is.  Following a lengthy marathon of labor and a frantic emergency C-section, our little Ivy Abigail arrived.

That was 7 weeks ago.  Time has raced by this summer.  I look at you, Kate and I see a calm and peaceful mother.  Your natural ease in caring for little Ivy has resulted in a baby that rolls with the punches, even the literal punches delivered by an overenthusiastic toddler.  You choose not to parent by the book, but rather by your heart.  I am in awe and amazement at your ability as a first time mother to bend and flex in your new role.  You have taken a 1 and a half week old to Fun Mountian, you have nursed a 2 week old in a tiny sun shelter on the beach at Birds Hill Park and even when Maggie dropped an entire animal cracker into little Ivy's mouth, your blood pressure didn't rise one bit.  Where I thought that our relationship was at it's summit, I have found a new sisterhood, one with motherhood at it's core.  The phone calls that used to include trash Tv and my kids ongoing temper tantrums and outrageous antics has widened to include labor tales, breast feeding tips and sleepless nights.  Little Ivy, I waited an eternity in the waiting room for you to be born.  I will never foget your daddy's face when he told me that it was a girl and I can never articulate how my heart soared to receive such news.  My heart is filled with such unimaginable joy for the little person you are becoming, your sparkling eyes. your curious view point, and your utterly unique hairstyle.  You are the third sister in our little clan and I can already fast forward to see the trio you will form with Mags and Sadie.  I believe with all my heart that you were hand picked by your Grandma Maggie so that your mom is once again able to experience that all consuming mother-daughter bond.  A little angel you are, chosen by a beautiful woman to bring such incredible joy to your mommy and daddy. 

You are surrounded tonight, Kate, by a wealth of women that love you and welcome little Ivy with open arms.  Dad, Judy and I are so proud of the mother you have become, confident and secure in your love for Ivy.  Mom would absolutely over-the-moon in love with this newest addition, a baby from her baby.  We welcome you tonight, Ivy and celebrate lovingly your devoted and wonderful new mommy.

Cheers!"

Priorities

I spent yesterday afternoon hanging out at my sisters house, shocking, I'm there every day.  I have spent most of my summer sitting around her kitchen table, me holding Ivy, her cleaning up after the kids. Yesterday she pre-warned me before I stepped through the door that her house was a disaster.  I have seen it in every way, shape, and form, so how bad could it really be? As I entered, it appeared as though a bomb had gone off.  Toys, dishes, clothes, and clumps of dog hair that Jazzy has been shedding uncontrollably this summer were taking over her environment. I assured her it wasn't that bad, but quickly helped her unload and re load the dishwasher and washed a sink of pots and pans as she rapidly vacuumed through. In a very short time her house was somewhat pieced back together- a little sisterly team work was all she needed. I have one baby and feel like my life is filled with bottles, diapers, and laundry. She has three and deserves a medal for it.  Her life is filled with Lego, Barbies, and baby dolls (along with three children calling out "mom", "mama", and "mommy" a thousand times a day).

I know she had a shit load of things she could have been doing yesterday due to the fact that she is hosting a shower for me and my girl this week (of course, it will be spectacular).  Instead of stressing about her long to-do- list she took the time to do a photo shoot of Ivy that we have been trying to accomplish for days.  What amazes me about my sister is that the little things don't really get to her. Making my shower beautiful and spending time with her kids trumps the house always being spic and span. She never pretends to be perfect and has no qualms about admitting she's not.  She is simply living life and enjoying every moment with her three little ones. Houses don't always have to be clean or in order, they just need to be filled with lots of love. My big sis is an inspiration as far as prioritizing her life- family first, everything else can wait.

Girls night

Last night I headed over to my dear friend Leanne's house with Ivy in tow.  Leanne has a great group of girl friends who I have come to know well over the years. They are an amazing bunch who hold nothing back from each other or the conversation. The subjects range from work to play, husbands to kids, money to sex and the many joys and frustrations of life. They are a group that find their friendships extremely important to each other so they try to make a conscious effort to get together on Thursday nights to catch up on life.  While Leanne always includes me, my schedule doesn't always pan out to participate. Last night I was able to take part in the evening.  We had a fantastic meal, some great wine (I traded in my weekend night of vino for a glass with the girls), and hilarious conversation intertwined with a few serious moments.  I left there with a smile on my face thinking about how much I enjoyed the evening.  They each hold qualities that I see in myself making it easy to find common ground.  They welcomed my baby with arms wide open and wanted to know all the details of motherhood as a few of them are planning to start families of their own.

Nights like these get me thinking about the importance of good friends.  I have a great home life and a great husband, but at the end of the day, it is still nice to sit down and have conversation with women who experience the same wants and needs as yourself. I take comfort in the fact that each of them have the same frustrations as we do in our household.  I admire that each of them are taking steps forward to better their lives in the same way that we are. There is no bullshit or bragging, no pretending or faking, just real girls living real lives. I am a mom all day, every day and I wouldn't have it any other way, but I do realize the importance of laughter and friendship.  I hope I will continue to be invited to girls night as participating is a fantastic break from everyday life.

Cheers

The Newest Momma on the Block

Get ready world, a new blogger and soon-to-be momma is about to hit the blog.  She is fabulous, energetic, sweet, very, very pregnant and one of my absolute favorite people.  Oh yeah, she also happens to be my sister, Katie.  The 2 years that I have been a faithful blogger has seen a few mommas join us, a few guest bloggers sharing pearls of wisdom here and there.  Brandi, Kath and I have stayed on through the changes, loving our blog, our audience and our platform to share momma advice with each other.  Our once babes are now, at the very youngest, toddlers and they are growing like weeds entering into uncharted waters.  Katie is just setting foot into the world of mommyhood, it's new and fresh and full of surprises for her.  We know that there are still many mommas out there in baby world and we know you will relate to the trials and the many, many tribulations that lay in store for her.  She has a knack for the written word, a gift I know was passed on as a tribute to our own mom.  The readers of our blog are incredibly supportive and upbeat, always quick to dole advice or offer support.  I think for Katie, as a new mommy, blogging in this place will be an incredibly valuable home from which to share.  Welcome aboard, little sister.  I am already proud of the mom you are and I can't wait to share this baby with the world and especially our little blog.

A Celebration of Motherhood Old and New

It was a gathering of moms at our place today.  All great women that mother many.  Some old moms (not age wise but experience wise), some still in the youth of it all, trying to parent the best way they know how and one just merely an observer at this point, trying to absorb all the mommy ways before they even begin. 

My mother-in-law, Elaine, is a treasure in my life.  In her, I have a wonderful friend and supporter.  She is constantly full of praise for the life that her son and I share and I feel so incredibly blessed to share my children with her.  She giggles easily and seems to light up those around her.  My children adore her and she sees only angelic qualities in them, a trait that grandmas aquire once their own children are grown.  For her, I can see that being a grandma means the absolute world to her, it is what fills her up and then some.  She basked in the warmth of family in her son's home with her grandchildren around stealing sausages from her plate. 

Judy, my dad's wife.  While she is not blood to kids, you would not believe it.  She listens to me talk about my challenges with mothering with an attentive ear like no other.  She never challenges me or debates but listens, praises and offers subtle advice.  I appreciate her shoulder and can see the love for the children in her.  She thinks of them at all times, bringing suppers, driving Ty, even volunteering in his classroom.  For me, the mother that cannot, knowing she is there to deliver him to kindergarten and then step into his little classroom, means more than I can express.  She is grandma through and through.

Tammy is my sister in-law with 2 kids each a year older than Mags and Ty.  The cousins are like siblings, tattling at times and best of pals the next.  Tammy and I are totally comfortable with each other, like old friends or sisters.  We spent the afternoon swapping clothes for the kids, and advice about how to make life slow down just a wee bit.  Her children are examples of the mother she is and I couldn't be more proud of my niece and nephew.  Macy dotes on my little Sades as if she were a living doll and little easton could easily be Ty's best bud, who could ask for me.

My wee sis is 6 weeks away from becoming a mother herself.  Katie may be the person on this planet that knows me the absolute best.  Our relationship is NEVER strained, we talk daily, probably twice most days.  Sometimes one of us is grumpy, sometimes both but never do we fight.  I pick her up when she needs it and I know she does more than her fair share of listening to her older sister talk about the chaos that exists in my home some days, actually all days.  She never judges and always listens, not like some people listen but don't care but like she wants to know every last detail.  Besides sharing every detail of my life with her, I have shared a loss and I have more than shared my children with her.  She is the Auntie who was there when they entered this world and she has never left their side.  She will be the absolute best mommy.  She will be full of love like I cannot imagine, gentle and adoring.  I cannot wait to see her in this role.  I can't wait to return the debtload of favors and babysitting I owe her.  Mommyhood already looks so good on my dear sister.  6 weeks and counting!

There were 3 moms missing today and although we didn't all sit and talk about it,  I know we each held our memories a little closer to the heart today.  My mom, Judy's mom and Elaine's mom are all passed away and I know we each thought about them a few extra times.  "Wouldn't it be nice if they were here?  Oh, I wish they could see this or that."  Old moms or young moms, whether they were taken quickly or slowly, unexpected or expected, they are our moms and it still aches but it seems a little more acute today.  I know I shed a few tears today, emotion seemed to be right on the surface.  Moms are the center of our worlds and today I hope you all revelled in that much deserved celebration.  

Girl Power

I felt very rich in woman this weekend.  Rich in the friends that surrounded me and rich in the history that we have shared and continue to.  Friday night, I spent the evening at my friend Shauna's house for supper with her family and my 3 kiddies (sans hubby as he was in a floor hockey tournie)  I haven't known her my whole life, but it feels that way.  We cooked side by side in the kitchen, we took turns putting out the fires that come from 5 young children playing, we chatted, we wined.  It was good.  Comfy and good!

Saturday, my soul sista took my little man and embraced him as a Parnell.  He claims to be "not really part of their family, but like part of their family".   Brent and Bran hosted Ty for his first sleepover at their house and it was a success.  A crazy success.  They opened his eyes to video games (thanks, Brent), they had a street hockey game, he said Auntie Bran made the best supper EVER, he snuggled in their "ginourmous bed", he loved being a boy in a boy house.  I guess our house does have a lot pink, I discovered upon inspection.  We headed there for brunch on Sunday where Brandi made the BEST frittata EVER.  Recipe will be posted, I promise.  I watched the boys interact and while both are strong  little leaders, they didn't fight or argue.  Adorable.  I left her house and was reminded of how much I love being at Brandi's home.  I could have stayed there all day, just gabbing and hanging pics in new places.  Our kids were 100% in their element.  No problems, other than Sadie rolling down a flight of stairs but even that didn't hamper the party. I feel homey there, like I can be totally myself.  We sometimes have to go weeks without seeing each other and then I visit and I wish more than anything that her front door was just steps from mine.  We might drive our hubbies crazy but when has that ever stopped us?

Saturday night, I headed out to catch up with the high school gang.  Wow.  Half married, half not.  half kids, half not.  One about to have a babe.  One announced a secret of eloping to Vegas next week to be married.  It was fast talking, speed dating, laughing, remembering, ohhh, remembering.  I forget that Luci and Charla know all my secrets.  I forget that when I was breaking up, getting heart broken, partying like a rock star, challenging my parents, I forget that they were there and they remember.  Luci still has the letter I wrote to her in Brazil when I broke up with my highschool sweetheart and then she has the next one that brings Chad into the picture.  Imagine the letters lost due to emails.  Sad.  We laughed so hard as we talked about how our children will not do this or that when they are teens and then laughed harder to realize that our parents had the same hopes for us when we were teens.  What goes around surely does come around.  It felt like stepping back in time and it felt so comfortable to be with them in Luci's cozy living room just 5 weeks before her home welcomes a new baby. 

Good Friends, Good Times.

BEing OK with life.

 

This is the week of WOMEN.  Celebrate good WOMEN in your life.  Celebrate your friendships and your girls nites out.  Celebrate that you can carry babies.  Celebrate your curves.  Celebrate the way you feel when you snuggle up in bed, with a good book or the remote, in flannel jammies.  Celebrate your favorite things like Tiber River's Olive Me Moisturizer - divine.  (check out their new website, so awesome).  Kath introduced me their Olive line it and I LOVE it.  Who knows, maybe it'll shave a few years off.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of having two in depth conversations with two amazing, inspiring WOMEN.  I had lunch with my friend Michelle AND I had coffee over the phone with my dad's mom.  Both of these gals are women that leave you both in awe and pondering your life.

WOMAN #1

I gather one might say that each soul is unto itself an enigma.  Michelle is a person who I have been getting to know and love more and move over the course of 8, maybe 10 years.  She continually amazes me and pushes me (in silence ) to be better.  She is as Kath might say, "Salt of the Earth."

Ironically Michelle is as low key as can be when it comes to figuring this world out.  She is relaxed and calm and has a way about her that is nurse-like.  And yet, she is always put together, she is classy and rarely would you ever think she doesn't have everything figured out, twice.

As we lunched, we talked about parenting.  We agreed that we want our children to know privilege.  ANd yet, we want to them recognize that there are many ways to be blessed and many degrees of fortune.  We talked about how we both want to provide for our children every possible opportunity but teach them to be good, humble friends.  Michelle is tough and has endured many things in her life, yet she is poised and patient.  I adore my chats with her.

WOMAN #2

Paradoxically my grandma (my whole life) also challenged me to think in ways that were out of my every day.  At 82, she is about to move into a suite.  She is jumping forward with both feet as she leaves the farm after 60 years.  I would imagine that this change would be monumental.  And yet, she is at ease and ready to go.  She calmly walked me through the farm house, room by room describing what she was packing and what she was summoning to the 'burn barrel'.  "I can't possibly leave grampa's books behind."  My grand father passed away in 1994 and still she treasures his favorite reads. 

"When people call me to ask: Are you really going to move off the farm?  I answer: Yes of course I am.  But to myself I am thinking, you already know the answer so why not let me get back to Judge Judy.  My phone is ringing with so many well wishers, I can barely get in an afternoon rest."

I surmised from our conversation that her time on the farm is over.  She has accepted that this begins a new journey for her.  And she is not only OK with it, she is looking forward to meeting new people. 

"Appreciate your todays my girl.  Nothing lasts forever."

Hmmm, that I think is perspective that can only come with life experience and age.  And as we were wrapping up our conversation, she whispered, "Slow down."  She told me that life needs not be so busy. 

"Brandi, for some life is not busy at all.  Do yoga."  and she laughed.  She signed off with love but reminded me to not judge others but appreciate our differences.  And all the while I kept thinking that there are many parallels in wisdom between these WOMEN.

That is wisdom - all in 20 minutes on the phone with a Roll up The Rim.

A LONG overdue date

I took a break from the Olympics this weekend to go out on a much needed and EXTREMELY overdue date with....my sister.  I am embarassed to admit and actually am shocked to realize that katie and I have NEVER been out on a real evening, just the two of us, not since she moved back from cowtown.  (I won't even tell you how many years ago that is)  People will think I'm lying as I do see my sis regularly, in fact my hubby may even think he married two of us, but our visits are always dotted with little interruptions that come by way of my children.  To my children, she is the world's best Auntie.  To me, my other half.  We have been out, albeit infrequently, with our significants, our dad and Judy, my kids.  Sure we've shopped together but always with a munchkin in tow.  So Saturday was a LONG awaited treat and I enjoyed every moment.  We went for Mexican at Don Pedro's.  Not great.  Not bad but definitely not great.  Katie's pregnant with her first (and looks absolutely adorable) and we chatted about this upcoming new babe.  I am so excited to be an auntie to her baby.  I can't wait to be able to snuggle without asking, to spoil without regard to the parents, to love wholeheartedly.  I can't wait to bring this babe into the lives of my trio and watch them respond and grow with this soon-to-be.  We sat at the bar and gabbed like we haven't had a moment to do that ever.  Then, we went to see these guys.

Yes, the boys from Doc Walker were playing Festival.  Judy's good friend contacted my sister and I about taking a pair of taking a pair of tickets off her hands.  No problem there.  We walked in at precisely showtime, strolled right to to the front of a very informal and intimate down home show and stood maybe 10 feet from them for the duration.  Thank you, Tina.  These tix were not buyable only winnable and it was perhaps the best show I've seen.  Well, at least as good as when I sat front and center with Brand the last time the boys were in town.  2 shows where they can see me smiling and singing proudly front and center qualifies me to refer to them as "the boys".  I half expected them to ask me backstage again, since I also did that with them last time.  Not so, apparently, every fan feels that way.  Wow, if the Olympics makes me a proud Canadian then Doc Walker makes me a VERY proud Manitoban.  We strolled through Festival and realized that we hadn't been since we were in school on a field trip.  Now that place is fantastic, who knew?  Bonfires, ice bars, concerts, mini-donut smells, ice sculptures, dancing, bison samples (yes, from Kirby's family farm and yes, I introduced myself and chatted them up about their grand daughter, Melissa Hollingsworth, a Canadian hero in my eyes).  A GREAT evening and a great sister.  What's better?

Move over Betty Crocker

I am sorry that I have to do this to do Joelle, but I cannot hold back.  As you blog friends out there know, last weekend Brent & I had the Adams & the Everetts for dinner.  Those two ladies are truly remarkable.  They are poised and graceful and so put together every time I see them.  What the hell do they see in me? 

I would say that all three of us can hold our own in the kitchen.  However, Joellekicks my ass for sure when it comes to all things sweet.   On Friday, she did dessert in honor of Michelle's 29th birthday.  This is what she whipped up...

Sweet thing.  She also left me with a silvery/red tin full of GF butter tarts.  These tarts could possibly be ruining my life.  Each time I am at home writing, cleaning, blogging, breathing, I swear I hear wee whispers coming from my fridge..."eat me."

Since Friday I have gained 5 lbs.  Each bite is nutty, buttery bits of heaven.  I have tried hiding them, burying them and freezing them, guess what they are equally delicious FROZEN!  Honestly, I can barely sleep at night, thinking about my next bite.

Anyone got a cure for friends who master any sweet GF treat they try to make Christmas baking addictions?

PS - Yes this strawberry cream cheese flan, tort, cake! was also GF and also AMAZING.  Definitely some people got more talent in the baking department than others....