Martini Momma

One of those days

I got an early start today, 4am to be exact. I was up for a bottle at 3:45, then crawled back into bed (again) and stared at the ceiling praying that my mind would allow me to doze back into a sound sleep. My body so desperately wanted it, but my brain, not so much.  I'm usually pretty good at getting back to sleep, mostly because I'm not sure I'm even fully awake when I get up to feed her. Needless to say, it was a VERY long day. I have to admit, it was one of those days I was envious of my husband off at work- is that terrible? Our naps have grown shorter, therefore everthing else has grown longer, very long. The fussing added to the frustration, but somehow I managed to power through. We play on the ground, watch Barney, sit in the exersaucer, go for a walk and basically move through the same circuit all day - Can you say tedious. Good thing we have plans most days because being at home could easily drive you crazy. The highlight of my day - the Bumbo!!! It was her first time and it was a hit!! Such a big girl, growing way to fast for her Mommas liking.  Anyways, now she is fast asleep and the house is quiet. It's time for this mom to sit back, relax, and gear up to do it all over again tomorrow. TGIF.

Emotional

I've gone through the whole range of emotions this week.   As Tuesday night progressed, my tummy filled with knots.  My big boy starting grade 1, GRADE 1, I can't even speak.  Where on earth has the time gone?  Of course, I was nervous about his big day, staying with the other kids for lunch, a new teacher, a new routine.  Maggie and Sadie heading off to Debbie's once again, would they cling to my knees, would they miss me, would they even remember me at the end of the day after all I know the fun they have there.  The excitement of it all, the nervous butterflies.

Then the big day came and went and a certain sadness swept over me as the week got underway.  The summer has ended in our books, the early mornings have started, the hustle bustle evenings are well under way, the evenings shorter.  When will I fit in "me" time?  When will I run?  How will I get the kids out the door each morning, sanity intact?  Will I get to spend enough time with the kids? Will they feel the craziness that is kicking off?  Chad leaves next week for 2 weeks away in Tennessee.  2 weeks is a long time and it seems like a very daunting task to do it all on my own for 13 days.  To be honest, I just feel "blue" about it.  There's barely enough time in the evening when we both pitch in, the supper, the clean up, the bath time, fighting the toddler into jammers, successfully getting girls into bed, home reading with Ty, make lunches for school, clean up, lay out clothes so next morning can run smoothly, pack backpacks, OMG, how will I ever do it?  My anxiety is rising as we speak. 

This didn't turn out to be a rant but I think somewhere I veered off.  An overwhelming week it is but on the upside, we've had smooth sailing in the mornings, Ty LOVED his first day of grade 1 and the girls of course, remember me and do LOVE their return to Debbie's.  Really, at the end of the day, that's all that matters.

Home vs. Work

I pretty much slacked on the blogging last week due to some busy days and nights.  I am finding now that my girl is up a lot more during the day I really have to use my time wisely and prioritize what needs to get done.  Who knew a little person could keep you so busy??? If I'm not feeding her (which is starting to get out of control), I'm changing diapers, or putting her soother back in, or sterilizing bottles, etc.  If you're a mom you know.

Last night I was trying to explain to my husband that all these things in the house don't just magically happen. The bottles don't clean themselves, the sleepers that she has shit through don't walk to the washing machine, and the diapers, wipes, etc. don't restock on their own. My point being that there are a tonne of things that go on behind the scenes that keep a household running smoothly. This, of course,  brings us back to the age old question, which is harder, staying at home or going off to work???

If you don't have kids, you would say the obvious answer is going to work.  When you're a mom, the obvious answer is staying home.  While being at home all day doesn't necessarily challenge your brain, it most definitely challenges your patience, your body, and your sanity. Now Jared says he would gladly change places with me in a second (am I the only one who has heard that line before?). While I don't doubt that he would love spending more quality time with our daughter, I would bet my life that he would be singing a different tune a week from now (the getting up during the night, every night would be enough to throw him over the edge). Just to be clear, I am not saying that working outside the home is easy either.  His job is mentally and physically draining and he too gets up early and works long days to provide for his family (which is so very much appreciated and respected). What I am saying is that when 10 o'clock rolls around and there is sink full of bottles (again), and my boobs feel like they are going to explode because I have to pump, I literally want to scream.

Now let me reinforce how much I adore spending my days with Ivy and what a wonderful father my husband is. The reality is that when you are a mom your job is never done.  Our brains never shut off (or at least mine doesn't yet) and we feel like we are the heart and soul of the whole operation. I think like all new parents we are trying to find balance in our lives so that one person doesn't feel like they are pulling more weight than the other. Adding a new person to your family is a huge adjustment that comes with a whole new set of challenges. I am quickly realizing that team work is the key to a happy family life (especially when I go back to work next year).

Working Vacation

We are on summer holidays.  It should be glorious knowing that we have a summer sprawled out in front of us to enjoy and explore.  The first 6 days have certainly been action packed.  Let’s recap.

1.     We left for the lake immediately following the last school bell.  Their first argument about what movie to watch on the way to the lake.  I am not flustered….yet!

2.    The lake is calm, the scene tranquil….the bugs are not.  I think if I were going to be tortured to death, this would be the way my enemy would make my last moments the most horrific.  Gotta love Manitoba.  Do they really not fog cabin country?

3.    A full day worrying and waiting for my little niece to arrive.  The day is long and I am not in the mood for the umpteen arguments that take place between my 2 oldest.  “I want my hamburger with just ketchup”  “I want mine with just mustard”  “I can’t find my other fip fop”  “I think you lost my helmet, Mom” Yeah, I lost your helmet when I was wearing it while beating my head against the wall.  “I want to sit with mom in the tube”  “No, I want to sit with mom in the tube”  I just want to be pulled behind the boat all by myself.  I think I'll take a cocktail and they can just pull me for hours.  Sounds like a dream, doesn't it?

4.    Finally, reprieve.  Chad says I should just head home and be with my sister.  Good thing, I need a break.  After all, it has been 28 hours of summer holidays.  How many hours do I have left until September?

5.    Baby is born.  Beautiful, beautiful girl.

6.    We head home from the lake.  Maggie has taken to telling Ty, “I don’t like you at all anymore.”  Repeatedly.  Things are looking REALLY promising around here.  He retaliates with a shrill ear piercing scream.  I’m certain the next 2 months will run smoothly.

7.    We head to the beach for the day with Shauna and the kids for a day in the sun.  They love it, smiles, giggles, and Maggie is in her zone.  She is a total beach bum.   Ok, so it seems I jumped the gun, they just need some time to adjust to the whole summer thing. 

8.    Nope, spoke too soon.  By the time we drive home, they are at odds again about who will hold the bottle of water and who will open the one granola bar that is left.  I crank Lady Antebellum just to be told, “I don’t really like this music”.  I turn it louder.

9.    14 time outs today.  I’d say it can only get better from here.  However, I won’t hold my breath.

10.   2 hours spent in the kitchen making meals, snacks, cleaning meals, snacks, only to turn around and do it again.  The house is cleaner when I’m at work, I quickly realize.

 

The turning point in the day is when Ty asks me, “Mom, Do you love when you’re surrounded by kids all day long?”  Really,is it that obvious?  Apparently, we need a plan and I need to realize that this is WORKING VACATION.  I’ll get right on it but first I have to let the screamer out of time out.  Are any one else's kids nutso? 

 

Foreshadowing Sucks

Just when I thought that the warm air outside was signalling the end of cold season, I have been thrust headfirst into a land of snot and coughs.  It hit Wednesday evening, as I chatted with a friend about how thankfully, we seemed to escape cold season relatively unscathed.  In literature I believe it is called foreshadowing, in real life, call it what you want but it just sucks.  We, mostly I, have been up 2 nights straight soothing the 2 little girls in our house that cough all night and can't breathe.  Sadie spits out the soother to cough, can't find it, cries, you can only imagine how many times we go through this cycle each night.  (once this passes, I will tackle the soother, best invention....worst invention)  Maggie is miserable. End of story.  The only thing working to keep her in a peaceful state is watching endless repeats of The Princess and the Frog.  Thank goodness, it's adorable and it's New Orleans so I can imagine myself in more fun times.  Sadie is hot, hot, hot and so stuffed up, I wish they had not banished the medicine that would make her a happier soul.  All she wants is to snuggle and so we parked ourselves on the couch yesterday and she sat and sat and sat, wrapped in a blanket and my arms.  I found myself being just a tiny bit nostalgic knowing that these moments do not come often and they are really, really SWEET!  It made the barf that she coughed up and the fact that Maggie used MY sleeve as a personal kleenex worth every moment.  On to speedy recoveries and Princess Tiana.

Not bitter, not bitter

It seems that every student I teach these days is jetsetting off to some beautiful resort or embarking on a Caribbean cruise.  I am not bitter.  All my writing buddies on this blog are either returning or setting off on phenomanal family vacations.  Both trips look utterly breathtaking.  I am not bitter.  My in-laws have taken to the south like geese and will not return until this cold snap ceases.  I am not bitter.  My dad and Judy are about to head to Mexico for 3 weeks and will lounge by the pool and drink margaritas.  I am still not bitter, ok, maybe just a bit.  Especially today.  Have you seen outside?  If you don't have to go anywhere, don't.  Yesterday, we built a fort, a snowman, we switched sopping mittens four times and today, - 35 with the windchill.  Only in Winnipeg!  Brandi, you left at precisely the perfect moment.  Thinking of you enjoying your first mai-tai of the morning.  I wish, I wish!

I will let myself wallow for four sentences and that's it, not about my being surrounded by snowbirds but rather about this crappy weekend.  4, that's it.  We seemed to be busy at every turn.  Sadie started barfing on the eve of the departure of our day -time -when-the-kids-are-sick-babysitters were just about to leave for south.  My kids always know.  Sadie spent the entire weekend either in my arms or crying at my ankles.  I literally could not leave her alone for a moment, including the 4 am wake up call to find she had barfed in her crib.  We did not part ways from that moment on, and the very moment that I did manage to calm her and have her fall asleep on my chest in the darkness of the living room were interrupted by my Maggie's early morning rise.  I was am exhausted and feel like a zombie today.   Was that 4 sentences?

The week can only go up from here.  Stay warm and cozy if you can!