Martini Momma

My Little Pumpkins

All I can say before this weary body heads off to bed is that we've been busy.  Very busy.  But not to busy to take in the pumpkin near our house with my 2 girlies.  It was a treat for just the "girrrs" while Ty practiced and Daddy coached the East St. Paul Red Hawks Tim Bits team.  Take a look!

 

 

 

 
 
 

Whole Again

The family reunion lasted all weekend.  It was so good to have my hubby back, so nice to have someone to tag off to but even more than that nice to have a partner to experience life's roller coaster with.  Maggie could barely pull herself away from her daddy, she must have told me a thousand times that "he is the best daddy in my whole wide world."  We tried to fit in as much outdoorsy stuff as we could muster but the kids wanted nothing more than one of dad's famous forts....inside.  We took in a corn maze, a not-so-great-short corn maze but still fun in the fall sun.  Lead by my son, we ventured through the gravel pits and the little trails there, where he made us subjects in his new hobby.  Ty has found a bit of a passion for photography (where did he get that?) and he set us up for family pictures in our first family photo shoot.  next weekend, he said it should be just dad and I, the girls were a bit "difficult" he claims.  It was so great to be a whole family again.  Happy Monday!

Thanks to the Village

My long lost husband returned to us tonight, which is probably why I have a minute to sit down and type this out.  The kids want their daddy to do bedtimes for them tonight, two weeks is a long time and they have missed him tremendously.  It's funny, I was so worried about how I would manage to keep my head above water that  I never really considered that his absence might be really tough on the kids.  The last couple of days, I noticed my Ty was quite sensitive, teary at simple frustrations, not too keen on heading off to school in the morning, obsessive about the day of the week.  I think he missed his daddy fiercely and when I saw him drop the backpack and literally run to his waiting arms after school when I showed up with Daddy, as a surprise, to pick him up, I fought back a few tears myself.  The reunion tonight was filled with lots of hugs and kisses, a few presents, and lots of smiles from Dad as he caught up on what he had missed. 

I have not only a better understanding of the sheer work that single parents handle on their own but also a respect for the stamina they have to uphold to keep their lives on track.  I would say we "managed" around here, we did not thrive without Daddy but we did alright.  I didn't get to the deep down cleaning, I missed a garbage day, the van smells a bit off, Jazzy barely got walked.  I stayed up late EVERY night, thankful for just a few minutes to myself at the end of the tasks and tidying. The upside, I got into a great routine of laying out clothes, jackets, shoes, backpacks, notes, all the stuff that can send the morning out of whack in an instant.  The house was clean at the end of it all, the kids are happy, and I haven't lost my mind, I would say we are a success story.  The truth of the matter is that I have a village that always pitch in wherever they can.  My Mother-In-Law and Judy and Dad wound their way into my life over the last 2 weeks.  Elaine sent home supper one night.  Judy brought lasagna another night.  Elaine watched the kids so that I could do a whirlwind tidy one day and sneak in a photo shoot one beautiful Sunday afternoon, allowing me that few hours away from my kidlets to regroup and reboot.  Judy showed up on my doorstep one evening, prepared to do bedtimes so that I could run and take Jaz for a walk.  Elaine came to keep me company on Wednesday, bathing them so that I could organize the garbage and recycling for the next morning.  She also took one look at my elements and proceeded to dismantle my stovetop and scrub and polish the thing until it shines like I shouldn't use it again.  Dad called to announce a McDonalds delivery for the kids one evening and last night when I got home at the end of my open house evening at school, Judy was seated in a freshly cleaned and tidied house.  I found out later that she had also resocked our kids shampoo that she must have noticed we were out of.  And of course, my katie, called and visited whenever she could and I voiced the days frustrations on her more than a few times.  I used to think it was a sign of defeat to accept help, and then I heard this woman speak at a fashion show in Lee River this summer.  She was a cancer survivor and explained the help that her friends had provided to her during her battle.  It was their gift, the one thing they could offer, their time and their efforts.  By not accepting their help or by saying , like we often do, "I'm Ok, I can handle it."  or "Don't worry, I'll be fine", we are actually denying their gift.  It struck me at the time and it resonated with me this week.  I put aside my pride, I let them in, I wasn't offended and I was more than a little grateful.  Their gifts of food, time, pick-ups, and clean ups made these past 2 weeks bearable and at most times completely manageable.  To my village, thank you for all you did. 

What's going on???

I have been so blessed with a good sleeper.  Ivy has been pulling 6,7,8 hour sleeps in pretty much since we brought her home (I know, it's crazy).  Then came last night. I was up with her 15 times I kid you not.  She was completely unsettled, hungry, miserable.  By the 6th and 7th times up,  I was cursing at my sleeping husband as I dragged myself back into her room to pop the soother back in or to try to get another burp out of her.  We are almost three months old, could this be related to growing?? She is also starting to break out of her swaddle which is amazing considering how snug she is when we put her down. I don't feel like she is ready to sleep hands free due to the fact that she wakes herself up so easily by constantly touching her face. She was coughing and sneezing a bit this morning so being sick is definitely not out of the question, but her naps over the last few days have been broken and virtually non existent.  Do growth spurts affect their sleep or was this just a bad night?? Are there other signs I need to be watching for as far as being sick goes??  HELP, I can't take another night like that.

Searching for balance

My sweet sister came over today on her lunch hour to bring me soup. We haven't seen each other all week since I've been fighting this cold so a quick visit was in order. She got a chance to cuddle Ivy with no other kids around vying for her attention-that never happens. We got talking about how much life changes when a baby enters the mix. I am finding that more often than not these days. The hardest part of parenting is sharing the responsibilities in our household and finding that balance between "I worked all day", and "I was at home with our daughter all day". By the time Jared gets home from work I am ready to switch off.  By the time he gets home from work, he's ready to unwind. Yes, of course he's anxious to see the babe, but he is as tired as I am.  Being at home is hard work and as much as I love spending this quality time at home with Ivy, there are days that I would gladly go to work just so I don't have to sterilize another bottle or empty another load of dishes (is that terrible??). I believe that both of us are entitled to our own time, but because of the lack of babysitters, our own time is never time together. We are still new parents adjusting to life with child, but I am searching for balance.  Mollie assures me that all new mom's feel this way at some point or another, is she right???

***Here are some new pics of my sweet babe (I know, her hair is wild!!)***

 

 

The small things

****My weigh in will be tomorrow***

It's funny how really small things can make your day.  Today Ivy and I ventured out to Polo Park to do some returns. She was so good while we were there that I was able to take the time to admire the fall fashion (and wish I had an endless supply of money to deck myself out in it). I absolutely love the Bay at Polo Park.  It's such a beautiful store with gorgeous clothes displayed everywhere you turn-some more affordable than others. Mollie told me that the new Dex line was super reasonable and really cute, that is in fact true.  Lots of beautiful sweaters, leggings, shirts all around the $25- $40 range if your getting tired of heading out to Joe for all things affordable. A nice relaxing day at the mall with Starbucks and baby.

After the mall we decided to take Daddy coffee and cookies to work.  He was surprised that we ventured to the other side of the city to see him. He always totes his daughter around proud as can be when we visit. He called me after we left to tell me that us showing up made his day.  It was just the afternoon pick-me-up that he needed to make it through the rest of his day. It makes me happy that he likes when we come visit.

When we got home from our adventure, Ivy went down seamlessly for her afternoon nap (you mom's know what a great feeling that is).  I was able to make dinner, tidy up, and I even managed to sit down with a cup of coffee and watch Oprah.  My husband walked in with the mail in hand, of course, bills bills bills. Is it just me or is getting the mail depressing? As I opened up our hydro bill I was pleasantly surprised- a $300 credit.  When do you ever get a credit?

Anyways, it made me think how the smallest things in life can make you the happiest.

Home vs. Work

I pretty much slacked on the blogging last week due to some busy days and nights.  I am finding now that my girl is up a lot more during the day I really have to use my time wisely and prioritize what needs to get done.  Who knew a little person could keep you so busy??? If I'm not feeding her (which is starting to get out of control), I'm changing diapers, or putting her soother back in, or sterilizing bottles, etc.  If you're a mom you know.

Last night I was trying to explain to my husband that all these things in the house don't just magically happen. The bottles don't clean themselves, the sleepers that she has shit through don't walk to the washing machine, and the diapers, wipes, etc. don't restock on their own. My point being that there are a tonne of things that go on behind the scenes that keep a household running smoothly. This, of course,  brings us back to the age old question, which is harder, staying at home or going off to work???

If you don't have kids, you would say the obvious answer is going to work.  When you're a mom, the obvious answer is staying home.  While being at home all day doesn't necessarily challenge your brain, it most definitely challenges your patience, your body, and your sanity. Now Jared says he would gladly change places with me in a second (am I the only one who has heard that line before?). While I don't doubt that he would love spending more quality time with our daughter, I would bet my life that he would be singing a different tune a week from now (the getting up during the night, every night would be enough to throw him over the edge). Just to be clear, I am not saying that working outside the home is easy either.  His job is mentally and physically draining and he too gets up early and works long days to provide for his family (which is so very much appreciated and respected). What I am saying is that when 10 o'clock rolls around and there is sink full of bottles (again), and my boobs feel like they are going to explode because I have to pump, I literally want to scream.

Now let me reinforce how much I adore spending my days with Ivy and what a wonderful father my husband is. The reality is that when you are a mom your job is never done.  Our brains never shut off (or at least mine doesn't yet) and we feel like we are the heart and soul of the whole operation. I think like all new parents we are trying to find balance in our lives so that one person doesn't feel like they are pulling more weight than the other. Adding a new person to your family is a huge adjustment that comes with a whole new set of challenges. I am quickly realizing that team work is the key to a happy family life (especially when I go back to work next year).

Goodbye Grandma

After a very long week of ups and downs for my Dad and his siblings, this morning they lost their Mom, my Grandma. It was just about a week ago that the nursing home had called my Dad and told him that  the family should come to the home and be prepared to say their goodbyes. On that afternoon that I visited Grandma I was sure she wouldn't make it through the day.  It was hard.  She was barely recognizable, so thin and cold. It brought back horrible memories of the last days of my mom's life.  Although different situations, when you know death is inevitable, it is ultimately the same.

When I talked to my Dad on that first day, he choked up. In that moment I realized that whether your mom is 57 or 93, it is still unbearably painful.  A Mom is a Mom no matter how old you are.  Even if a person has lived a good, long life, when you lose them, the grief is the same. My Dad has been preparing for this day for a long time as my Grandma has been slipping downhill for years. I personally don't think you can ever be fully prepared.

In all honesty, I haven't seen my Grandma much in the last years. I'm not sure exactly why.  I guess we didn't see her and my Grandpa as often as we should have growing up, at least not enough to create a warm and comfortable relationship. My Dad was very close to my Grandma and took remarkable care of her.  He visited the nursing home multiple times weekly and always had patience for her wondering mind.  He always made sure she had new clothes and that her hair was done when it started to look ragged. He listened to her stories and patiently answered the same questions over and over again.  He is what you would consider a model son.

My Grandma was an extremely faithful person knowing full well that heaven was waiting for her.  She had no fear of dying or what may lie ahead. When I think about my Grandma I will remember a women that loved her family.  A woman that was strong in her views but soft in her heart.  I will remember her strawberry Jello salad and her gingersnaps. I will remember Easter egg hunts that always led me straight to the organ knowing that at least a few would be there.  I will remember the long prayers before dinner and making my sister laugh as we bowed our heads. Most importantly, I will remember a woman with an incredible strength and will to live.

We love you Grandma.  You will be missed greatly.

xoxo

Family

Yesterday our quiet little house took a wild turn as Jared's family rolled into town.  My sister-in-law Christie, along with three of her four children arrived from Calgary to spend a fun filled week in Winnipeg. It has been far to long since we've seen them as a year and a half has passed all too quickly. I adore her children and have always maintained a great friendship with her. Christie, a labor delivery nurse, was one of my rocks during my pregnancy. I consumed hours of her time leading up to the big day asking multiple questions and getting every ounce of advice I could from her. She, along with her hubby and kids have always held a special place in our hearts.

Immediately our quiet little house has turned into a zoo. Brayden, a now full fledged teen aged girl has grown up all too fast and is drop dead gorgeous. She has spunk and sweetness mixed with a bit of that soon-to-be grade nine attitude. Jaye, almost in grade six, is a clone of my husband.  She is a performer, the center of attention at all times.  She has bleach blond hair and a smile that lights up a room and never tires of talking and telling stories.  Magnus, the youngest of the bunch at two is about as cute as they come. You can't help but laugh as he yells, bangs, and runs. He steals the show with his buzzed hair and big red lips. He's the kind of little boy you want to cuddle and never let go.

The kids can't get enough of baby Ivy and are constantly fighting over who gets her next, diaper changes, and dressing her. It is nice to have people to keep the baby entertained, although I must admit, I still need time in my day to stop, sit, and marvel at my baby. In two short days we have visited the rest of the family, roasted marshmallows around the fire while Jaye belts out the latest country tunes, been sliding at Fun Mountain, gone for numerous walks, and are hitting the beach with my sister and kids first thing tomorrow.

As I sit here and watch the chaos unravel, I can't help but think how nice it is to be surrounded by family. Sometimes you do need to sneak away for a moment of peace (thank you blog), but without the chaos, how fun would life actually be?  I am being yelled at for dinner and my baby just  barfed all over one of the kids.....better go.

Celebrating Dads Cottage Style

 
The teacher in me is counting down to summer.  9 days left, 7 school days, 6 if you don't count today, 5 if you consider Tuesday is an inservice.  You get it....I am pumped.  We took a breather at the cabin for the weekend and celebrated summer and Father's Day with all the important Dads in my life.  The sun smiled down on us and it was refreshing and surprising to sit outside and not be eaten alive by the bugs. 

 

 

My Chad has been working his tail off at a new position at his company.  This weekend, he handed over the company cell to the next in line and was truly able to enjoy cottage life.  A sleep in, a few skis, the sun, a death defying tube ride, and steaks, that's all this Daddy could ask for.  That and the mulitple homemade gifts given from the heart by his prized possessions.  Chad is the best daddy on the planet to his kids. It was a day to celebrate the relationships he has with each of his kids and a day to feel blessed beyond measure at the family we have made.  His kids adore him and frankly, so do I.

My dad and Judy along with Kate and Jared made the trip to the cabin for the day.  My Dad always looks like he belongs on a yacht or some classy wooden schooner.  He loves the lake, but more than that, I can see his pride swell just being around his girls and his grand kids.  I know he is tickled to find us both at the same cyberspace address.  The card I gave my Dad for Father's Day (the one that is still sitting on my counter) reads "Somewhere between kid and adult, I realized you were a really great guy."  That about sums it up, a great man and a spectacular father that loves his family fiercely.

Ray is the Papa at the lake that drops everything to be with his grand kids.  His patience and energy for the tiniest of toddlers is something to marvel at.  The girls are always near him and he wants nothing more than to see life from their mini vantage point. 

It was a day to celebrate these fabulous dads and grandpas.  It was a perfect day until we headed back for another work week and a yard full of mosquitoes.