My long lost husband returned to us tonight, which is probably why I have a minute to sit down and type this out. The kids want their daddy to do bedtimes for them tonight, two weeks is a long time and they have missed him tremendously. It's funny, I was so worried about how I would manage to keep my head above water that I never really considered that his absence might be really tough on the kids. The last couple of days, I noticed my Ty was quite sensitive, teary at simple frustrations, not too keen on heading off to school in the morning, obsessive about the day of the week. I think he missed his daddy fiercely and when I saw him drop the backpack and literally run to his waiting arms after school when I showed up with Daddy, as a surprise, to pick him up, I fought back a few tears myself. The reunion tonight was filled with lots of hugs and kisses, a few presents, and lots of smiles from Dad as he caught up on what he had missed.
I have not only a better understanding of the sheer work that single parents handle on their own but also a respect for the stamina they have to uphold to keep their lives on track. I would say we "managed" around here, we did not thrive without Daddy but we did alright. I didn't get to the deep down cleaning, I missed a garbage day, the van smells a bit off, Jazzy barely got walked. I stayed up late EVERY night, thankful for just a few minutes to myself at the end of the tasks and tidying. The upside, I got into a great routine of laying out clothes, jackets, shoes, backpacks, notes, all the stuff that can send the morning out of whack in an instant. The house was clean at the end of it all, the kids are happy, and I haven't lost my mind, I would say we are a success story. The truth of the matter is that I have a village that always pitch in wherever they can. My Mother-In-Law and Judy and Dad wound their way into my life over the last 2 weeks. Elaine sent home supper one night. Judy brought lasagna another night. Elaine watched the kids so that I could do a whirlwind tidy one day and sneak in a photo shoot one beautiful Sunday afternoon, allowing me that few hours away from my kidlets to regroup and reboot. Judy showed up on my doorstep one evening, prepared to do bedtimes so that I could run and take Jaz for a walk. Elaine came to keep me company on Wednesday, bathing them so that I could organize the garbage and recycling for the next morning. She also took one look at my elements and proceeded to dismantle my stovetop and scrub and polish the thing until it shines like I shouldn't use it again. Dad called to announce a McDonalds delivery for the kids one evening and last night when I got home at the end of my open house evening at school, Judy was seated in a freshly cleaned and tidied house. I found out later that she had also resocked our kids shampoo that she must have noticed we were out of. And of course, my katie, called and visited whenever she could and I voiced the days frustrations on her more than a few times. I used to think it was a sign of defeat to accept help, and then I heard this woman speak at a fashion show in Lee River this summer. She was a cancer survivor and explained the help that her friends had provided to her during her battle. It was their gift, the one thing they could offer, their time and their efforts. By not accepting their help or by saying , like we often do, "I'm Ok, I can handle it." or "Don't worry, I'll be fine", we are actually denying their gift. It struck me at the time and it resonated with me this week. I put aside my pride, I let them in, I wasn't offended and I was more than a little grateful. Their gifts of food, time, pick-ups, and clean ups made these past 2 weeks bearable and at most times completely manageable. To my village, thank you for all you did.
Thank you Mollie for accepting our gift to you and your family. It gave us great pleasure.
Lots of love,
Dad and Judy
Posted by: Judy Giesbrecht | September 25, 2010 at 12:14 AM