Searching for balance

My sweet sister came over today on her lunch hour to bring me soup. We haven't seen each other all week since I've been fighting this cold so a quick visit was in order. She got a chance to cuddle Ivy with no other kids around vying for her attention-that never happens. We got talking about how much life changes when a baby enters the mix. I am finding that more often than not these days. The hardest part of parenting is sharing the responsibilities in our household and finding that balance between "I worked all day", and "I was at home with our daughter all day". By the time Jared gets home from work I am ready to switch off.  By the time he gets home from work, he's ready to unwind. Yes, of course he's anxious to see the babe, but he is as tired as I am.  Being at home is hard work and as much as I love spending this quality time at home with Ivy, there are days that I would gladly go to work just so I don't have to sterilize another bottle or empty another load of dishes (is that terrible??). I believe that both of us are entitled to our own time, but because of the lack of babysitters, our own time is never time together. We are still new parents adjusting to life with child, but I am searching for balance.  Mollie assures me that all new mom's feel this way at some point or another, is she right???

***Here are some new pics of my sweet babe (I know, her hair is wild!!)***

 

 

Comments

[~Kristina]

Mollie absolutely right. My kidlets are 6 and 2 and I'm still looking for that balance.

[staying where my hands are]

If anyone doesn't go through that they must have a full time nanny, housekeeper, chef, etc etc. Totally normal!

My husband is going on a business trip next week and I told him I'm insanely jealous, I miss business trips so much. He says "well it's going to suck, we have to drive all over Alberta so I'll spend most of my time driving around".

Hmmm...sounds like a GREAT time to me! No kids screaming in the backseat, colleagues to chat with, great restaurants to stop at and a hotel bed all to himslef at the end of the night. (did I mention using the bathroom by himself?)

Yes, poor him....

Sorry for the hijack, haven't talked to any adults today except for the school bus driver this morning :)

[Shauna]

OMG...could she be cuter!?!

I think that the first year of parenting is so much about adjusting to a life that is no longer just about ourselves and that there is not a bigger learner curve in the world. I am positive every new mom has felt exactly the same way you do.

One thing that has helped me is that our family has always been pretty rigid with bedtimes since the beginning. Our kids (5 and 7) still go to bed at 8:00 (with occassional exceptions of course). We started that bedtime as soon as each of them dropped their evening nap as babies. This has always given me a few hours a night to do with what I want (read, watch trashy tv, have a bath, chat with friends..all the fun stuff)with only the odd chore thrown in. I try really hard to protect this evening time from too much "mom stuff" and honour the down time I need as an individual.

[The Mommas]

Kate - she is gorgeous! There is nothing easy about learning to parent, to find balance and to take care of yourself. Be patient and know that great reward comes with great work.

XO
B

[Melissa]

Ivy is SO precious - I LOVE her red hair!!!

I'm agreeing with all the mom's here - every mom goes through the search for balance. Personally, I found things got easier after the first 6 months and then again at 1 years old. Braden and I are very good about giving each other a night out about once a week. If you can do this, it will be a BIG help.

[Laura]

Rest assured, it is an on going battle...communication is key...and teamwork makes life easier for everyone.
My husband seems to "step it up" a knotch on the weekends getting more involved in meal making and cleaning up & playing with the kids...I kick back and let him...sure it's not "even steven" but I appreciate the breaks and I let him know it...that way he'll keep it up ;-)
you'll find your grove too.

[Leanne]

Kate - I have zero words of encouragement or advice. I have no idea how you Super-Moms do it. Or how I'm going to do it one day... But I do have to say, Ivy is P-E-R-F-E-C-T!! Seriously, she makes my heart melt.

[Crazy4more]

I have no great words of wisdom. It is a tough balancing act, but it all falls into place eventually...and then you go and have another, and another and eight years later...another! Hang in there!

P.S. Lovin' her crazy hair...looks like another little girl I know!