Goodbye Grandma

After a very long week of ups and downs for my Dad and his siblings, this morning they lost their Mom, my Grandma. It was just about a week ago that the nursing home had called my Dad and told him that the family should come to the home and be prepared to say their goodbyes. On that afternoon that I visited Grandma I was sure she wouldn't make it through the day. It was hard. She was barely recognizable, so thin and cold. It brought back horrible memories of the last days of my mom's life. Although different situations, when you know death is inevitable, it is ultimately the same.

When I talked to my Dad on that first day, he choked up. In that moment I realized that whether your mom is 57 or 93, it is still unbearably painful. A Mom is a Mom no matter how old you are. Even if a person has lived a good, long life, when you lose them, the grief is the same. My Dad has been preparing for this day for a long time as my Grandma has been slipping downhill for years. I personally don't think you can ever be fully prepared.

In all honesty, I haven't seen my Grandma much in the last years. I'm not sure exactly why. I guess we didn't see her and my Grandpa as often as we should have growing up, at least not enough to create a warm and comfortable relationship. My Dad was very close to my Grandma and took remarkable care of her. He visited the nursing home multiple times weekly and always had patience for her wondering mind. He always made sure she had new clothes and that her hair was done when it started to look ragged. He listened to her stories and patiently answered the same questions over and over again. He is what you would consider a model son.

My Grandma was an extremely faithful person knowing full well that heaven was waiting for her. She had no fear of dying or what may lie ahead. When I think about my Grandma I will remember a women that loved her family. A woman that was strong in her views but soft in her heart. I will remember her strawberry Jello salad and her gingersnaps. I will remember Easter egg hunts that always led me straight to the organ knowing that at least a few would be there. I will remember the long prayers before dinner and making my sister laugh as we bowed our heads. Most importantly, I will remember a woman with an incredible strength and will to live.

We love you Grandma. You will be missed greatly.

xoxo